I realized this morning as I was putting together this post, that humor is the key to longevity in any endeavor-be it my job, my marriage, my friendships, not to mention my children. When the best metaphors for my professional life have become Dr. Seuss and Alice in Wonderland is it a surprise that I feel this philosophy is validated?  Enjoy!

with great thanks to Dr. Seuss for the creation of the original Yertle the Turtle, making sense of our world, and being an inspiration to us all!

In a land much closer than we’d like to think
Arne the ‘tician was creating a stink
A great foundation, this “education for all”.
Public and serving the tall and the small.
Was trying to meet the needs of them all.

Education was changing, reforms on the move
Teachers were working, finding their groove
They were…..until Arne without trepidation
Said let’s up the ante, throw in stiff competition.
“It’s taking too long, we have to move faster
NCLB has been a horrific disaster
Four years will go quickly, so let’s pick up the pace
If we want re-election, to the top we must race
Our rankings are lower than I want to be
Race to the Top we’ll make our grand legacy
I will not consider if my policies are sound
I’ll start many things, oh down there, on the ground
Evaluations, data, testing and more
A student will become no more than a score”

So Arne the ‘tician, picked up his phone
Poked a few buttons and in a terse tone
Ordered the students would test even more
Coloring bubbles ‘til their fingers were sore
“When tests are all done, we’ll add something else
something that’s likely to quicken their pulse
APPRs, SLOs, merit pay, are a few
we’ll implement initiatives for schools under review
With students’ assessments, the teachers we’ll grade
they won’t know what hit them, just like a grenade.
We’ll post their scores for communities to browse
Public ire, the media will help us arouse.”
He chuckled as he tapped his pencil and spoke,
“How tough can it be?  The learning’s all rote.”

So he sat there content and surveyed his work
And big business grants, oh what a perk
But as his mandates were softly drumming away
He heard rather faintly a groan of dismay
So Arne, he strained and he listened hard
And he heard Diane Ravitch, GW’s old-guard
“Arne” she pleaded “NCLB left a broad wake,
Let’s think this through for our children’s sake.
We’ve tested and threatened, we’ve taken their funds
We need to supply more than just trends”

“What did you say?” Arne said with a sneer
“If they act like big business they have nothing to fear.
So let’s speed up the process, it’s never enough
We must drive out creative, nonsensical stuff”
“Mandate, more mandates!” he blustered and swore,
We’ll add them on top of the new Common Core”
And the teachers they cowered and did more PD
To meet the new standards, in schools public and free
So he piled them on, in an unending stream
“Analysis, data, and benchmarks,” I deem
He fretted and fussed, it still wasn’t enough
So performance and rubrics came off of the cuff

Then again, from a teacher, a whisper was heard
Would Arne be listening to even a word?
“I know in DC you want to reach greater heights,
But in districts, all over, of children lost sight
Our children need you, it’s no practical joke
We need mandate relief, only you can revoke
First we must see children have food and a home
Even, it seems, a playground to roam
They have medical needs, for which we must care
Without all these things it will never be fair.
Please pardon by boldness, you’re approach is all wrong
Its only through teamwork we can ever be strong

But Arne was deaf to the teacher who spoke
Blind to the needs common sense should evoke
So set on his goals of reaching the top
He forgot it is children, instead of a crop
People, you see, the big and the small
Need certain things to be successful at all
Arne, the ‘tician had lost sight of these needs
Intent as he was on taking the lead
“Success at all costs, as we race to the top!”
Arne decreed, “we will never be stopped.”

But as we all know, its children who suffer
With teachers and parents attempting to buffer
So changes rolled out even faster and faster
Alas, change without thought leads to disaster
So children they tested, and colored, and scored
Till school was near nothing and left them all bored
Keeping kids, was unique, till they earned a diploma
Since students were stuck in an unending test-coma

Sooner or later, the votes will come in
The tally ‘ll show Arne he can’t always win
He’ll sputter and crow, that he put children first
The public was fooled and teachers were cursed
But as the dust settles and we fight for our lives
Public education, good teachers, will most surely survive
So maybe one day, they’ll learn from this mess
Teachers are leaders, the key to success
Because third-part vendors, CEOs, are not needed
Achievement is found in quality teachers unimpeded